yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
