There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag