Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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