So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
