Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim

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  (440): He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim http://tfl.nu/dc24
  Replies (24) Good night (649) Bad night (7589)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...

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  (270): The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips... http://tfl.nu/unl6
  Replies (8) Good night (5236) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.

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  (613): Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say. http://tfl.nu/8sw1
  Replies (20) Good night (701) Bad night (9444)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.

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  (918): I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending. http://tfl.nu/bckx
  Replies (3) Good night (2650) Bad night (695)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.

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  (617): i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar. http://tfl.nu/1t99
  Replies (7) Good night (2815) Bad night (872)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing

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  (317): So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing http://tfl.nu/lzer
  Replies (15) Good night (3421) Bad night (1261)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.

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  (417): I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/6bqy
  Replies (16) Good night (4867) Bad night (989)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall

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  (540): i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall http://tfl.nu/ora9
  Replies (6) Good night (3765) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  ...oh my god that's like anal suicide

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.

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  (260): ...oh my god that's like anal suicide (1-260): I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak. http://tfl.nu/xgzk
  Replies (9) Good night (623) Bad night (1744)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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  (484): announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention. http://tfl.nu/v327
  Replies (11) Good night (2053) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I love you more with every blowjob.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  You should write for Hallmark.

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  (202): I love you more with every blowjob. (1-202): You should write for Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/2s1x
  Replies (8) Good night (3062) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.

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  (413): He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex. http://tfl.nu/az8i
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.

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  (248): I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex. http://tfl.nu/x4c4
  Replies (8) Good night (204) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt

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  (210): How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt http://tfl.nu/wi7k
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (200)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.

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  (251): My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult. http://tfl.nu/4jpl
  Replies (0) Good night (491) Bad night (121)

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