You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.