For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Operation Purity has been aborted
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
