I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.