I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
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The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.