is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI