the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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