doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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