Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
