my phone cant type all the emotion im having
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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