just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
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