She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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