you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
