Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
