Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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