In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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