i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.