he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
