He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
