Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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