Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
