Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
50% drunk capacity currently
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize