Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
