just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
