Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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