why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
