im drinking this country out of the recession.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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