FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize