I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
