I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
