just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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