Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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