u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
