Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
