while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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