All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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