I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
