oh god the rape fog is back!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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