better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
