He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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