I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
