I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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