So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
