If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
