Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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