I CAN MOONWALK!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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