Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
