The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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