Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
