Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
