I accidentally burped into my bong.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
