Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
