Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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