Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
operation harelip BJ is a go
only you would photoshop your dick
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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