He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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