i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You ruined the universe
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
