I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
