Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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