so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
