Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
