You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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