I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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