Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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