Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I don't think brook has ever known best
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
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Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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