Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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