I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
