New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
