she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
