in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
